Cold cold cold....

I am doing this post at somewhere ultimate cold.... Genting... Had nothing to do here... No point betting, won't win....

Pretty much busy lately... Ain't got time to post up that often as before... New things coming up... A lot of big plan happening for me....

I have just got a few great albums... Two from yeah yeah yeahs... Pretty much into the mood for some psychedelic rock nowadays... The drug tongue voice sounds superb....

Genting is so damn cold... Make my mind so messed up... Couldn't think straight, couldn't think right....

I think I have an ultimate sickness...

I am kinda sick again... I just don't know why I keep on getting sick... Though not serious one but the headache and dizziness is really giving me a havoc...

I was once told that when someone is unhappy they tend to get sick easily... I am not sure how true is this but yupe I am pretty much unhappy... Just hope my headache won't last through the night...

I make a dream of sorrow
I have a heart so cold.
Cold as it may be, cold as it should.
You make me live with sorrow,
You make me live with a heart so cold.

long time no see....

It's been quite a while since my last blog entry... I don't really much have the mood to write... My mind is playing tricks on me... I am not slacking at work anymore, pretty much earned a lot of my dad's trust... But it's just sometimes I still feel something is not right....

Been a bit busy lately too... I have to delay my hair cut for two weeks... But it's done already... Pretty short this time but yeap it looks good... Thank you Jason...

Still took a little time at night to catch the POTC 3: At World's End at I-MAX Theatre... It was awesome.... I don't care if you would call me a gay... Johnny Depp is good...

Pretty much got hooked with John Mayer's Continuum album and John Legend's Once Again album... My favourite now is John Mayer - Dreaming With A Broken Heart...

I'll be living strong
Not for you but for me,
I'll be living strong
So I can break the bond.

Please give me the power,
The power to fight alone.
Please give me the wisdom,
The wisdom to live alone.

Things will be fine
As i will be strong;
Strong to fight, strong to conquer.
I will be strong.............

Thank you Bok... Perfect imperfection...

Well I have to say thank you to my good ol buddy BoK who wrote a comment on my last post... Thanks for the support and I will keep up the good work... I think I am going to write a poem again... Hope everyone will like it...

I like you for your perfect beauty,
I love you for your imperfect soul.
I like you for what you are,
I love you for what you don't;
Your imperfection makes you unique
Your imperfection makes me whole.
You make me perfect,
You make my perfect world.
Life without you is imperfect
Life without you is a hole.
Please fill my imperfection,
Please fill my soul;
Please turn your head now
This is an ugly soul
An imperfected ugly soul.

Wake up.... Not Hillary Duff....

I pretty kinda woke up from my brain deep slumber... Didn't have enough sleep for this weekend, but it felt so wake up today... It's a feeling of full swing, a feeling that my body starts to run again, my brain is at full throttle... Not totally optimistic like before.. But at least not negative thinking...

Pretty much still in the blues... But yeah, i felt different from the weeks before... The blues this time feel like a little storm, a little storm before dawn... I could feel the sunlight shinning through the clouds, just a little more rain, just a little more wind and the clouds will be gone, daylight is waiting for me, a new day is coming...

I dunno what will happen but I think something good... Everything seems like a good omen to me... I think I will see a good end... Something I heard before..

It's not how a man starts make a man,
It's how a man choose to end it.
Choose a path, a righteous path
Be a man, be a honoured man.
Choose a life, a great life
Be a warrior, be a thoughtful warrior.
And yes we shall fight, yes we will fight
Fight for the great end of out life..

Two years...

This is a little history of what have i been through for the past two years...

I finished college without a diploma in hand that year... Was too slacking in the college, I flung about every single subject i take... It was not long after that I found a job, hoping that this job will be a great career for me that time, I put a lot of hard work in making this job works... But it seems like selling a car like that doesn't help that it bring myself to the deepest of the worst of my life then... I dun have enough money from my salary to even live a normal life... I never thought of giving up then, and saw a chance of change...

I notice there is a business oppurtunity and thinking of grabbing it... Without enough support from my family, i make my most stupid decision of taking a high interest loan... Shark loan to be exact, the interest was at 20% a month... Putting hope to that business oppurtunity i didn't hesitate much, it was not until i found out i have been fraud that i know i am in deep trouble... 20% a month means i have to come up with at least RM 200.00 a month as the interest... Not even making enough for the living that has been the hardest time of my life...

Being totally stressed and tired during that time has bring me into some other troubles... I picked up a bad habit, I picked up the pill call EXSTACY... I tried it before but it was until then I got hook to it... Having friends that provide me with unlimited supply of it for free was helping me finding a getaway from all my troubles... Hiding away from my problems did not help the debt, as it bundles to a bigger stack... It was until then I make another wrong decision in my life, trying to fraud a customer... It then failed and my parents help me clear some problems, but i did not let them know about the debt... I got grounded for few months and it was the worst time of my life...

Being grounded and kept away from the drug that ruin my thinking gets me think straight... I try making it up to my parents to thank them for what they have help me with... It took me two years to settle everything, everything that ruin my life... I do not run away from my past and I am not ashame to admit it... People will make mistake in their life and it's for themselves to wake up from it and overcome it...

I think no one know totally of my messed up life, and no one knows how bad I felt... It's not that I don't trust people, but it's the thing that it's my own mistake and I made the wrong choice... I will have to settle it myself if I can and I don't want another person to be worried bout me...

I am not sure if I have growned up since all this happen... I will not know, It's for me to change and for you people around to see... I'll have to thank the people who was there for me when i am in deep shit and the people who trusted me when i am grounded... We have no way of seeing each other but just phone calls... But still people trusted me... Thank you... This is my confession of my sins, this is my last word of regrets... I will live my life full and I will not leave any regrets in my life no more... Still there is one regrets... I hope I could make it up to it... Please pray for my success in overcoming this biggest regret of my life...

Maroon 5....

Maroon 5 brand new album is about to be launched this month... This time naming it "It won't be soon before long"... Already having a single out on the mtv makes us craving for this upcoming album... It would be the album of the year in my car playlist awards...

Being tired from today so i won't be blogging long... I will end here for now and i will post a summary of my two f**ked up year before and let you all have the insights of my life then... Do check it out...