Two years...

This is a little history of what have i been through for the past two years...

I finished college without a diploma in hand that year... Was too slacking in the college, I flung about every single subject i take... It was not long after that I found a job, hoping that this job will be a great career for me that time, I put a lot of hard work in making this job works... But it seems like selling a car like that doesn't help that it bring myself to the deepest of the worst of my life then... I dun have enough money from my salary to even live a normal life... I never thought of giving up then, and saw a chance of change...

I notice there is a business oppurtunity and thinking of grabbing it... Without enough support from my family, i make my most stupid decision of taking a high interest loan... Shark loan to be exact, the interest was at 20% a month... Putting hope to that business oppurtunity i didn't hesitate much, it was not until i found out i have been fraud that i know i am in deep trouble... 20% a month means i have to come up with at least RM 200.00 a month as the interest... Not even making enough for the living that has been the hardest time of my life...

Being totally stressed and tired during that time has bring me into some other troubles... I picked up a bad habit, I picked up the pill call EXSTACY... I tried it before but it was until then I got hook to it... Having friends that provide me with unlimited supply of it for free was helping me finding a getaway from all my troubles... Hiding away from my problems did not help the debt, as it bundles to a bigger stack... It was until then I make another wrong decision in my life, trying to fraud a customer... It then failed and my parents help me clear some problems, but i did not let them know about the debt... I got grounded for few months and it was the worst time of my life...

Being grounded and kept away from the drug that ruin my thinking gets me think straight... I try making it up to my parents to thank them for what they have help me with... It took me two years to settle everything, everything that ruin my life... I do not run away from my past and I am not ashame to admit it... People will make mistake in their life and it's for themselves to wake up from it and overcome it...

I think no one know totally of my messed up life, and no one knows how bad I felt... It's not that I don't trust people, but it's the thing that it's my own mistake and I made the wrong choice... I will have to settle it myself if I can and I don't want another person to be worried bout me...

I am not sure if I have growned up since all this happen... I will not know, It's for me to change and for you people around to see... I'll have to thank the people who was there for me when i am in deep shit and the people who trusted me when i am grounded... We have no way of seeing each other but just phone calls... But still people trusted me... Thank you... This is my confession of my sins, this is my last word of regrets... I will live my life full and I will not leave any regrets in my life no more... Still there is one regrets... I hope I could make it up to it... Please pray for my success in overcoming this biggest regret of my life...