I am killing my braincells

I could hardly sleep yesterday... Slept at about 5 in the morning and woke up to work at 8... Very moody today, I could be laughing to the lamest joke anyone make and be all fussy and angry right after it... While forcing my brain function normally, I think I am killing my braincells at the same time...

Been quite busy today negotiating with a client who need some job done, urgently... The calls haven't stop since morning and I think I am crazy hearing my phone playing the same ringtones... I am going back to basic with my ringtones soon... Havings songs playing over and over again reminding you to pick up the call is killing me... The default ring... ring... sound sweeter to me now... Playing a song as a ringtone will soon make be bored of that song even if it's my favourite song... Or maybe I should update it every month...

Not having the munch to eat anything today... Force myself to finish my breakfast cause I know I need the food and it's just my brain telling me I am full... The noodle is still the same as in the last few years, quite delicious... But I just lost my appetite looking at it... Well I think I am killing my braincells again and I am killing myself as well...

I was about to think I could be just fine after all... But yesterday I found out that it was not fine at all... My brain is just play a fool of me, playing lies and games with me... I was not totally fine yet but just me myself trying to act fine...

Time did not do me any good I know... I think it is bringing the worst out of me... Sometimes I think I am losing faith to what I believe... After long period of praying and chanting I just don't see miracles in my life or maybe they are showing it in a different way... I am not sure where my faith is... But I still think that I am a lucky person, I have friends to wake me up and bring me out of my misery when i need them, an understanding family that accept my bad mood for the moment and try not to burden me with too much of work loads, a brother who is there for me when I needed company, a bunch of net friends who talks to me when they don't even know me... I still need one thing in my life to make it perfect, but just that one thing in life is missing now...

The best song for my mood now is from KORN's MTV Unplugged album, the fifth title in it... It's call Creep... As Jonathan says this song will gives him power and it's dedicated to kids and adult who has been picked on and make them feel inadequate... Was I being treated inadequately... I dunno, but the lyrics suit my feelings and situation now...

I will share a few more songs title I found that it's nice lately... But that's for later, I need to go get some food for lunch... Ain't gonna kill myself by starvation...