It's been quite some years that I didn't dream so frequently... And I never found the Courier font look so nice... My mind is too strange for me to think normal now...
The frequency of my dream is freaking me out a lot... I have to take some substance to help me sleep without dreaming... The dreams are all so clear and all makes me felt that i am not dreaming...
The occurence of a good and bad dreams at the same time really makes weak... Everything seem so fragile... It felt like two different dream but it occured at the same time... It was two different dream but felt like it kinda happen at the same place... I would have my happiest moment in one dream and at the same time some people will be intefering with it and make it a nightmare... I always woke up all wet in my own sweat... So wet that it seems like I went to bed right after bath and didn't dry up...
I was going a lot of the novel again... Maybe it's a thing about the story that make me feel attached... Maybe it's Michael Noonan's story that sound a lot like mine... Or it's Michael Noonan's character that is so like me makes me feel attached...
I am having a tired mind and tired soul... I think writing my experience out give me a sense of relieve and salvation... I have gone too far in my inner self, too far that I couldn't pull myself out from it... My inner self is so deep and dark it's like the Pandora's Box, so dark that it will drowned me to death... But i haven't seem a dime of light call hope... Or I wasn't been in deep enough... Deep enough to reveal all of myself...
My mind is about to explode again... Just maybe not as bad as before... But i fell deep into my misery again...
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