Moody days

This is the days I get all moody and everything... Things that happen just pop right into my mind... We can't deny it, it saddens us, the ultimate bad way... We're browsing around looking for company... Talking to people in your IM list which you never even talk to them before... It's hard to forget, it was never an easy task... It's hard to bring your mood right, you're in deep shits now... When you were just fine talking to your friends and they have to log off... Well we think that is fine... By the time you don't see their name online... The whole feeling struck you again... And this time double the pain, double the harshness... It's like getting drunk on nicotine, you never want to eat, you never feel well, the only thing u feel is bad, sad, moody, and wish to throw up... If you wanna know what i mean... Get the strongest brand of tobacco you know... Chain smoke until you stop and starts to feel cold in the inside, your stomach starts to turn, your face turn white... Yupe... That is how this all feel.

It's been seven days from now... I tried to take the innitiative to call the first two days, but it only trip me worst... Everything happen for the worst... Calling someone which you wish to talk to so a lot is always happy, but by the time she stop picking up your call... Every single dial tone trips you off too nuwark of nowhere... You just trip through the torture chamber, nightmare on elm street, nightmare land and how u wish u could wake up from it... Every single dial tone trips you off... Every single dial tone is a mind numbing tune... Every single dial tone cuts a piece of your mind and heart...

Since calling is no good, we will try the weirdest way to reach to that person... Going on IM... No luck, the person you're looking is hiding from you... Try to call the house... No luck either, the person you're looking for tells everyone that knows you for you to say that he/she is away... You tried sending that person comments on the friend circles website u know he/she have an account on, which you don't often do... Worst, she wasn't online all the time... The last resort, the best invention of the century... SMS short messaging system... You send numerous messages, long and short, you try every single word you know, you try to act fine so that he/she would at least reply you with a single word... But after numerous day of mind numbing act like that, you can't think straight... You're mind is about to blow, everything thing you do to reach out to that person has no use... Every single minute is tripping you bad, tripping you to go mad...

No use, they wouldn't know that... Worst, they don't even care to know... Damages has been done, wrong words come out from your mouth... Now you starts to regret, what if you think slower at that point? What if you would speak softer? What if you trusted them more? You made simulations out of the person you know... You know them too well... You never know someone that well... You regret for everything you done... You regret for everything you say... But too late, damages has been done... Time keep ticking, clocks keep running, people still work, you'll have to work, money still runs in the market, porn is still one of the famous search on search site, baby are borned, people are dying, massacre still happen, the world never stop spinning, we'll always know pluto as one of our universe, Shakespeare is dead, Dan Brown is big, web slinging hero is coming, Jack Sparrow was not dead, a kid won the movie awards in HK and your wrong has been done... This is the time you wish Einstein work out the time machine more than the E=MC2... You would wish you could turn back time... You would sell your soul to the devil for life sentence just to make things happen... Nothing supernatural happen... This is the time you pray hard and wish for a miracle...

You never give up, no one give up easily... Things about letting go was easy to say, but now you know holding on is easier... You would try anyway to gain attentions... But it wouldn't help... One of your most trusty fren give you the most cruel fact... You're annoying... You annoyed the person very much... You would only destroy your hope into ashes... The person will only hate you more... She gave you an idea... Live today, Fight tomorrow... That's the best word for it... It might mean u'll have to start from zero again... But it's the best way... Let time do the work... Let mind settle down... Let moods flow... Let the world go round... If it's your destiny to be with each other you will bump yourselves into it again... If you have faith for each other... No matter how far apart you are... You will still meet one day...

Love sometimes doesn't go two way... It was never meant to be like that... Sometimes you'll need to sacrifice yourself just to see that very person happy... And that's true love... The best love in the world is not about having to be with each other... The best love story happens when they're apart... Seeing him/her smile with happiness is the happiest moment in your life... That was always what you want him/her to be... Happy... Maybe by that time you're not the person beside him/her... But still you'll have your best moments in life... If he/she has the feeling for you, he/she will know you're suffering... He/She will know who is the best for him/her... Who treats him/her better... Treating him/her better doesn't mean buying him/her gift, bringing him/her to a exspensive restaurant or going out every weekend... Treating him/her better is treating them well, let them feel you need them, let them know they're everything to you in this world, share problems with them, they wanna know, smile to them, look into their eyes, give them long kisses which stop their breath, cuddle with them, carry them on your back when they said they're tired of walking...

I wish that this entry will be read and understood, to everyone who has the same problem with me let us pray that we are better... Like a muiz of mine said, take this as a time to view our mistake and problems... So by the time we are again with our loved ones, we are a better person, a person that he/she is willing to share his/her life with... And those who are in love... Appreciate what you see... They might be imperfect, do share with them your thoughts, you won't wanna change them but if they care, they will try their best to do better...

P/S: Let us all pray for the lives being taken in the Virginia Tech Gunman Massacre incident... Let us all pray for a world with less fight and quarrel, wars and killing, pollution and disasters... Let us all pray five minutes for them...